


His Insanely Kingly

by BurntGayPotato



Series: Requests!! [4]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anorexia, Cats, Cereal bars, Connor Murphy Lives (Dear Evan Hansen), Connor is a Good Friend, Hearing Voices, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Cream, Jared Kleinman Has Two Moms, Jared Kleinman Needs Love, Linda the cat - Freeform, Self-Hatred, The cat fuckin calls connor, implied - Freeform, jared has a cat, sensory overload/sensory issues, sorta - Freeform, this cat is a superhero, yayyy kitty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22990060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurntGayPotato/pseuds/BurntGayPotato
Summary: hello!! all i want is a very angsty jared (dear evan hansen) fic,, like go all out take out every ounce of sadness from your soul then at the halfway through or like two thirds in infuse it with every single happy thought in the past 3 years. and add a sprinkle of kleinphy (connor/jared) and just overall friendship and being a rad friend to jared. maybe like hes all like "my problems are less rad than everyone elses so i will bottle them up" because im projecting, also he has a cat named linda i dont make the rules shes brown (: have a wonderful time!tldr, sad jared, good friends, hapiness, also cat.
Relationships: (implied but not established), Jared Kleinman & Connor Murphy, Jared Kleinman/Connor Murphy
Series: Requests!! [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633117
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	His Insanely Kingly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mmmmmmm (unregistered user)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=mmmmmmm+%28unregistered+user%29).



> wHEW, this took way longer than I wanted it to. I hope it was worth the wait!

Jared plopped down on his bed with a soft  _ whump!  _ His head spun. He wanted to get some water, he was so thirsty, but he couldn't bring himself to move. He was so hungry, but the voices in his head chided him constantly for wanting to eat. He wanted to call his mother and tell her what was happening, but she was at work and had to deal with the entitled Karens at the country club so he  _ would not  _ call her up to worry her about his little episode. It didn't matter as much since she was working her ass off just to provide proper life for Jared. It didn't matter that he had a case of the lazy bones and couldn't get up to get himself water.

Jared was so deep into his thoughts that he practically jumped a mile when his cat Linda jumped up onto the bed. The brown cat could always tell when her human was spiraling, and this time was no different. At first Jared just sniffled and turned away from her, knowing that she would insist on being snuggled. However, after a little more nuzzling from Linda’s tiny pink nose, he sat up and opened his lap to the small cat. She purred, and curled up on his legs smugly, content with her victory. 

“Ugh, Linda,” Jared croaked. “Why do you always come around when I’m breaking down? I don't have the energy to take care of myself, much less to pay attention to you.” he flopped back down, jostling Linda a bit. The cat meowed indignantly, but just as quickly adjusted her position so it was comfortable. 

“I can't do  _ anything  _ right!” he told the cat. “I can't even grab a glass of water or take a shower without having a complete mental breakdown!” he sniffled again, trying to stop the tears in his eyes from falling down his cheeks. He hated crying while laying on his back. Whenever he did, tears would get in his ears and that would be just gross, and set him off because of his sensory issues, or whatever. He didn't actually know what to call it when he would break down due to something sensory related, he’d never wanted to worry his mothers about yet another thing, when they already had plates full of issues. 

But whatever it was called, SPD, sensory overload, or whatever, it would always be triggered by tears getting in his ears. And that always made the situation worse. 

Just another thing to add to Jared’s Failure List.

“Heh, hey Linda, tears and ears rhymes.” he half sobbed - half chuckled. Linda looked up at Jared as if he were a kitten that was trying to sniff his own butt. The thought made him do that half cry half laugh thing again, because wow, he was at a point in his life where he was putting too much thought into not only what other people thought of him, but of what his  _ cat  _ thought of him.

His phone dinged softly, drawing the cat’s attention to the lit screen. When Jared didn't move to check it, Linda meowed much louder than the notification sound was, still staring at the phone reproachfully. Jared mumbled incoherently.

Linda wasn't having any of it. 

The brown cat stood up and walked across Jared’s chest to sit directly on his face. Jared let her lay there - since at least she would absorb his tears - until he breathed in and got a noseful of cat hair. He coughed and pushed the cat off his face. 

“Uggh, gerroff me!” he mumbled. Jared fully planned on continuing laying on his back and trying to control his breathing and pounding headache, but as soon as he made eye contact with his cat, he knew he would have to check his phone if he wanted to live without cat-butt on his face.

“Fine.” he groped around on his bed without moving his head until his hand found his phone. He picked it up and saw that Connor had texted him. 

**yo kleinman im bored**

_ God,  _ now was not the  _ time,  _ Connor. He almost pressed the  _ call  _ button before reminding himself that Connor had more problems on his hands than Jared would know what to deal with. He had gone through way more shit than Jared, and he can't just go crying to his friends every time something goes wrong. His friends had their own problems, and Jared  _ really  _ didn't wanna come off as clingy. 

Jared sighed, and Linda meowed insistanly. 

“I know, Linds, I really wanna call him I just…” 

_ Mrowww _

“I  _ can't.”  _ Jared cried. Linda crawled across the bed to nuzzle against Jared’s cheek but jumped backwards when the phone rang loudly. Jared sat up straight.

It wasn't the sound of someone calling Jared, but the sound of it makes when you call someone, and wait for them to pick up. Jared looked at Linda who gazed up at him innocently. 

“Did you…?” 

Whether or not the cat purposefully pressed call, Jared did not know. And he didn't have any time to think about it, because Connor’s voice now rang through the cell phone speaker. 

“Talk to me.” Connor said - his signature way of picking up the phone. 

“I, uh, hi?” Jared croaked. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Um, I think Linda called you by mistake?” 

“I- hold on, you good Jared? You sound like shit, no offense.” Connor asked. 

“Me?” Jared squeaked. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine, I just… don't actually have a way to end that sentence.” There was silence on the other end of the call followed by a muffled rumble. 

“Connor? What are you doing?” Jared asked, now more confused than upset. 

“Getting into my car. I have your address, right? No, yeah, I have your address…” and even louder rumble came from the phone. “Damn thing… fucking start already!”

“Connor-” 

“I’ll be there in like, two minutes max, kay?” Connor said over the engine. Then he hung up because Connor is the goddamn master of social cues and assumed the conversation was over for now. Which honestly didn't bother Jared that much.

He looked over at his cat, who was now curled up asleep on his pillow.

“You always manage to put me in these kinds of situations, don't you?” he sighed, mildly impressed. 

Connor apparently also knew where his spare key was, because suddenly there was the sound of combat boots rushing up the stairs, and then Connor Murphy was in the doorway to Jared’s room. 

“Hi.” he said, slightly out of breath. “Man, you look worse than you sounded over the phone.” Jared rolled his eyes.

“Gee, thanks,” he muttered. 

“Your eyes are red so that means either you’ve been crying, or your high but I  _ know  _ you wouldn't have gotten high without me, so,” Connor sat on the bed next to Jared. “What’s buggin’ ya?” Jared fidgeted with his hands.

“I- well, I’m just… everything? Everything is buggin’ me?” 

“Huh, well we gotta start somewhere,” Connor shifted his position on the bed to face the shorter teen. “How about we get some food from downstairs? If I know either of your moms, I know there'll be  _ something  _ to munch.”

Jared mumbled something in between  _ I dunno,  _ and  _ sure,  _ which Connor, of course, took as a yes. So he had no choice really but to follow the lanky boy into the kitchen downstairs. 

“Hmm,” Connor said, flinging open the pantry door. He then moved to the freezer and swung that open too. “I’m thinkin’ ice cream. That sound good to you?” Jared nodded, because what else could he do, and before he knew it he was sitting down next to a bowl of ice cream. Connor sat across from him, munching away happily.

He picked up his spoon, then set it back down as the half-forgotten voice in his head began to ridicule him.

_ God, you do  _ not  _ need any more sugars in your body fatass.  _

Jared tried to control his breathing.

_ You can't even go thirty minutes without wanting to eat something, can you? _

Connor set down his spoon and looked at Jared curiously.

“You haven't even touched your ice cream. Did you not like this flavor?”

_ So stuipid, you can't eat like this if you want people to like you. _

“Jared? You alright?”

_ You’re fucking pathetic, you know that? _

“I- uh,” Jared croaked.

_ Absolutely worthless. _

“Jared! Hey, calm down, it's okay!” Connor was suddenly at Jared’s side, pushing away the ice cream. “It's okay,” Jared shook his head.

“Nope. Nope, not okay.” he managed to say. “Definitely not okay.”

“Well, then we can make it okay, okay?” the taller reassured him, straightening up and walking to the freezer to shove the ice cream bowl back in. Jared heard the clinking of ice cubes falling into a glass, and the sound of water being poured over them.

“Drink this.” Connor placed the glass of water in front of him. He was so thirsty.

One of the ice cubes made a loud pop and cracked in half.

Jared grabbed the water and chugged it frantically, barely pausing to breathe.

“Woah, woah! Slow down there, bud,” Connor took Jared’s wrist gently. “Make sure you can still breathe.” 

Jared sniffed. He hadn't realized it, but there were tears running down his cheeks.

“Hey, it’s okay,” the taller gently wrapped Jared in a hug, his softer side showing through. “You're okay now,” Jared took a shaky breath in, and let it out slowly before nodding slightly

“I’m sorry,” he began. “You shouldn't have to worry about me like this.”

“It's alright to have a bad day, Jared,” Connor said. “You don't need to apologize.” Jared wasn't sure how else to respond, so he hastily grabbed his water glass and finished it off so he wouldn't have to speak.

“Besides, who wouldn't want to take care of the insanely cool Jaren Kleinman once in a while?” Connor nudged the smaller boy’s arm with a small smile. 

“I'm not so sure about insanely cool…” Jared mumbled. Connor scoffed. 

“Okay, fine, insanely awesome and cool!” he corrected, intentionally misinterpreting Jared’s protests. “Or would you prefer insanely awesome and smart? Insanely fuckin’ indescribably cool Jared Kleinman? The all-powerful and wise?” Connor started making dramatic hand gestures and fake-swooning all over. Jared giggled shakily and stood with him.

“Peasants bow down to His Insanely Kingly and his Fantastic-and-Flattering Friend!” he said. Soon both boys had collapsed on the couch in a fit of laughter. 

“And Evan could be like, The Lord of Forest Expertise!” Connor cackled. 

“Oh my god, I love it,” Jared gasped. “Alana’s gotta be the Wisest Woman in the Kingdom, I think she’d like that title.” Connor hummed his agreement. 

“Is His Insanely Kingly up for trying again with some cereal bars?” Connor asked gently. Jared smiled and nodded.

“I think he is.”


End file.
